Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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