Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Q: Why did the man get stabbed? A: I don't know.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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