How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

Why was the giant scorpion sad? Because the Holocaust killed his entire family.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

My spelling is horrible

Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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