A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

your mum

Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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