How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

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Your sex life.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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