What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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