roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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Major League Soccer

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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