Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

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What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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A lot eh?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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you give like i give lomain

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops