What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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