do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Religion.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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