Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

Please don't shoot me

What's the difference between a duck?

Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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