What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Why did the women sleep in the kitchen. Due to the poverty levels of her area of residence, sub-sahara Africa, she, her 7 children and 3 orphaned nephews lived in one ram shackled room with a corrugated iron roof which served as a multi-purpose kitchen, bedroom, lounge and greeting area.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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I don't get it

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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