A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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a

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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Women's rights

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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