Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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