You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the black man do after the white guy told a racist joke? Laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An orphan falls off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops