Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

thumb_up thumb_down +20

the WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

( . Y . )

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops