Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Robin, get in the car!

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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Why did jim all I over? He dies

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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