BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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A car walks into a bar.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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A black man is picking cotton in a southern white mans field. This is because the white man is paying a more than fair wage and the black man is a 3rd generation cotton picker who enjoys taking part in his heritage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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