What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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