what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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