What do you put your key on? A key chain.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hey man. what? squidbillies.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did th-A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blonde dies Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops