What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

Knock knock. Who's there?

Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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