How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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I hear Lebron has a new phone. He has it on silent all the time. It's because he doesn't want to disturb anyone around him while they prepare for important games in which he will be an indispensable part of, especially during the 4th quarters of the NBA Finals.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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