Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

there once was a black man who played basketball

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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