So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

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knock knock come in !

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01101110 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101100 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01101100 01100101 00111111 00100000 00001010 00001010 00001010 00001010 01001110 01101111 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 Translate

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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