roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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b

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What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops