What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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You know Hellen Kellers retarded? No shes blind and deaf. Ehhh same thing.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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kk

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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