Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What is sticky and smelly - a stick

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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