What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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Dakota Fanning

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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