A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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What's the capital of Ohio? O

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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what has genitial warts? me

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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No soup for you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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