I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

Faithful men.

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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