A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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Nig gers Jews Bean ers and fa ggots and everyones grandma that died recently, F u c k you there all burning in Hell.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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