Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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you gay?

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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eoin burgin is fat

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

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Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

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why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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