Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Italian leaves the mofia

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An man walked into a bar. Unbeknownst to him, the bar happened to be a having a Rave party. The man, having epilepsy, proceeded to have a seizure. Luckily, a paramedic was there and saved his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is green and is not grass A frogg

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops