A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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whats a long boring sotry that no oneever wantsto read? the life of sarah palin.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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You know what's funny? Rape

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Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

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What hapenz when u drnk very hot cup of tea after lunch ............:-> nothing ... Cup becomes empty

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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LOL we are spamming this site too much!

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why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops