What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Where's my tractor?

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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