A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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