A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

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Where's my tractor?

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir......my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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