There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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