My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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