What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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