How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

Why did? Yes

Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have no idea how to rhyme, I like tacos

what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

Potato!

I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

What's hotter than a beautiful girl in a bikini? Among many things, the Sun, the Earth's core, the inside of a volcano...

What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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