What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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Keanu Reaves

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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who ever is reading this....

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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