Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Chris is hairy

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops