Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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