'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops