GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are black violets are black i am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Committing Suicide #YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops