Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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This isn't funny.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops