What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

Poop

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...