Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Dwarf Shortage

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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