An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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hiya

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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