Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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I have an idea! You leave.

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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