A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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Finally, lets take the fight two the streets shall we, no I am not asking, asking is for pussies: YOU VIOLATED AND KILLED MY FATHER! YES YES WHAT IS IT WITH YOU WOMEN ANYWAYS I VIOLATED YOUR MOTHER TOO, BUT YOU DON`T HEAR HER WHINING ABOUT IT! In fact tell her to stop her sending me nude shots, I prefer it when she sends me those she takes of you in your sleep... Your friendly Neighborhood R*pist Moral Man:The day Moral Man graced your village was the worst day of your life, for me it was fathers day! Literally, do you really think I killed your father? I would never comitt suicide! Now, let us celebrate our reunion with some... "Moral WINcest" Barlog: Yes we would like to see the tapes you made for me banging her mother. two Super Turbo edition hours later: YEEEEEEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEES!

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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