Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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knock knock who's there? faith

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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